We're having Coyote for Easter Dinner!

Back in January, the local grocery stores were having huge sales on all the stuff that did not sell for Christmas.  What I like about grocery stores is that everything has a shelf life.  I mean, things can’t just sit there for months and years not selling, well except for Ramen noodles and Twinkies.  Retail clothing stores got wise to after Christmas sales and started slowly reducing sale prices, as a way to make more money.  Instead of throwing everything into the half off bin right after Christmas, it’s a measly 10% off.  Its not until weeks later that the real bargains begin, unfortunately all that is left by then are day-glow yellow Christmas sweaters, and purple socks.  Great if you are on a road crew, or a circus clown.  Grocery stores are different.  They have to get rid of things quickly, like meat and eggs and butter, and cans of candied yams that no one eats but no dinner is complete without.   So to the meat section I went, and there I found a pile of un-loved Christmas hams.  All discounted at 50% off.  I considered the 2 inch think slab steaks, they were about the same price. Big stickers declaring ‘Reduced Price’  wow a side of beef!  Its like being at the stockyards or the Chicago board of trade.  I could invest in commodities on a large scale.  Like 12 pounds of pork.  Or 3 pounds of beef.  Being the wise shopper that I am, I decided on the 12 pound ham because I looked at it as an investment.  2 weeks worth of ham sandwiches, another week of BBQ sandwiches, and some split pea soup with bits of ham. 

 

Its been 4 months now that the carcass has been sitting in Freezer.  Its huge, it takes up a lot of space.  There is hardly room for the frozen pizzas, dinners, bags of peas, French fries, and ice cream.  Last week, I reorganized after a trip to the grocery store, only to find that 2 days later I had forgotten to put in a tray of steaks.  Now the cause was not directly related to the ham. As it were my fingers were cold after spending 4 minutes rearranging.  I got down to the last cans of juice concentrate, and bag of peas and I wanted to get out of the freezer. The steaks for their part did an excellent job of camouflaging themselves in a plastic bag.  There they sat on the top of the refrigerator where we put the rest of our plastic bags.  MIA.  Two days later I discovered an unusual smell.  I want to blame the pig. 

 

So now its Good Friday.  Last night Becca and I decided how best to thaw this thing and get it ready for Sunday.  Being intelligent she considered the dryer, I also being intelligent agreed.  But then we got to thinking.

What if the smell from the dryer vent attracts coyotes in the neighborhood?

Good point.

Won’t they just want to break down the sliding glass door and get at that ham, with all its tasty ham smell and salty flavor?

Oh yea.

We’ll shoot the coyotes!

But I don’t own a gun.

We’ll hit them with something.

Yea! But then what?

I guess we’ll have Coyote for Easter then.

Sounds good, should I bring the yams?