like pastor said this morning to me. "pray like a jewish person... "Lord, you said you would provide and bless. where are the blessings?!?"" I thinik its true sometimes, you have to get a little feisty. talk to God and pray in conversation. thats what I am going to do. God Provides, God is Good. I am not mad a little thrown off but not mad. I am trying to regroup and go through a reexamining life right now. its tough. what else can I do? I have tried to separate what has happened with who I am. I am still alive, I breath I eat, and laugh. what ? a little job loss is going to make me change? be afraid? eh so what. I have been here before. It sucks as a place to be, but I am not dying. separating these two things and it shows a laughable situation. It makes me see that I may just have a bad time keeping a job, but I still am who I am. and thats not all bad. you know?
Tomorrow I go hiking. I am going back up to Mt Rainier. it should be beautiful hiking weather. I am going to bring Don Quixote Man from La Mancha. hopefully as part inspiration part distraction, and because I have been meaning to finish the book off. thats all.
I would like to spend some time in contemplation. it would be nice to have more than a day about a week or so, but even then I get sick of myself. =)
thats all for now.
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